Most of our tensions and frustrations stem from compulsive needs to act the role of someone we are not.
~ Dr. Hans Selye, Endocrinologist and Pioneer of Stress Research
The workplace can be a rich breeding ground for stress and emotional triggers.
If we don’t protect our emotional space, our work experiences can disrupt our peace long after we leave the office.
Before we consider strategies to safeguard our emotional well-being at work, let’s identify the warning signs and behaviors we want to guard against.
Vetting Workplaces for Emotional Well-being
The first step in choosing a workplace that supports our emotional well-being is to evaluate cultural fit.
When people assess whether a job is the right cultural fit, they typically consider these ten key aspects:
1. Values Alignment
Does the company’s mission, priorities, and ethics align with their own?
2. Work-life Balance Expectations
How does the company approach working hours, time off, and personal boundaries?
3. Communication Style
Is communication formal or casual? Are interactions direct or indirect? How are disagreements handled?
4. Decision-making Approach
Is it top-down or collaborative? Is it centralized or de-centralized?
5. Leadership Style
How do managers interact with their teams? Are leaders open to feedback? What level of autonomy do individuals have?
6. Social Dynamics
What’s the level of competition among colleagues? How frequent are virtual vs. in-person team interactions? Are relationships purely professional or more friendly?
7. Growth Mindset
How does the company support learning and career advancement?
8. Recognition Practices
What methods are used to acknowledge and reward contributions?
9. Diversity and Inclusion
How diverse is the senior leadership team and the workplace? Does the environment encourage authenticity and foster belonging across diverse thoughts and people?
10. Physical Environment
What are the travel requirements? What is the workspace set up (virtual, open-plan, private offices)? What’s the dress code and overall atmosphere?
When a job scores high on technical fit but low on cultural fit, it means what looks perfect on paper can make us miserable.
To see if a workplace supports our emotional well-being, we have to go beyond the title and responsibilities and assess the company and team culture. There’s no universal ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ workplace culture because different people thrive in different environments. What helps is to focus on identifying which type of environment will allow you to feel most comfortable and inspired to do your best work.
Warning Signs That Can Compromise Emotional Well-Being in the Workplace
However, not all initially espoused company culture is the experience once we’re there.
Learning to spot the red flags that can disrupt our well-being allows us to make smart decisions about our future.
These warning signs threaten our emotional well-being in two ways: they can distort our present reality, making us feel powerless, and trigger memories of past trauma—leading us to fall back into survival patterns.
Five warning signs that typically cause stress and compromise emotional well-being:
1. Lack of Agency
What this looks like:
- Limited autonomy and decision-making power
- Rigid rules requiring permission for minor decisions
- Suppressed skills and discouraged initiative
Deeper emotional impact:
The absence of agency skews our perception of being sovereign individuals, capable of making our own choices and decisions, as we are the owners of our lives. It can also remind us of times when we had to rely on someone else for survival, even if it compromised our ability to choose what we wanted, what was best for us, or stand up for ourselves.
2. Being Overlooked
What this looks like:
- Feeling undervalued, deprioritized, or excluded
- Unaddressed feedback or lack of follow-through on promises and commitments
- Under-resourced or not set up for success
Deeper emotional impact:
Being overlooked can lead us to believe that we don’t matter. Being overlooked can also remind us of moments when our basic needs weren’t met, weren’t protected from harm, or weren’t seen and heard by those we cared about.
3. Lack of Transparency
What this looks like:
- Discouragement from questioning decisions or approaches
- Active hoarding or guarding of information that impacts someone else
- Lack of accountability for discrepancies between words and actions
Deeper emotional impact:
Lack of transparency erodes both trust and reliable information—limiting our ability to make informed choices and act with confidence. Lack of transparency can also remind us of experiences of being lied to, fooled, or manipulated, which embarrassed us or put us in harm’s way for the other party’s gains.
4. Power Plays
What this looks like:
- Fear-based motivation, or public criticisms and punishments
- “My way or the highway” mentality
- Career advancement based on favoritism or loyalty rather than merit
Deeper emotional impact:
Power plays can threaten our need for trust and safety. Power plays can also remind us of times when our safety and well-being were not under our control, but instead depended on the whims and moods of someone we relied on.
5. Designed Isolation
What this looks like:
- Discouraged or restricted peer-to-peer communication
- Forced competition over collaboration
- Intentional separation of team members
Deeper emotional impact:
Designed isolation creates a false narrative: that we’re either alone or to blame. Designed isolation can also remind us of times when we felt forced to struggle alone, believing we couldn’t reach out for help or share our burden.
These experiences that erode our well-being often stem from authoritarian leadership styles, characterized by:
- Valuing hierarchy and control, demanding and rewarding obedience above all else
- Making unilateral decisions without consulting affected parties
- Believing in exclusive decision-making capability
- Following “Do as I say, not as I do” principles
- Taking credit for others’ work while pushing them to extremes
- Prioritizing personal status and power over all else including learning and growth
Recognizing these warning signs allows us to approach work with awareness and vigilance, helping protect our well-being from gradual erosion.
Why is it Important to Safeguard Our Well-Being in the Workplace?
A workplace that undermines our well-being isn’t sustainable for our health.
A work culture with low psychological safety where we aren’t included in important decisions that impact us, can’t voice our honest perspectives without retaliation, and can’t be our authentic selves is one that not only creates a high level of stress and anxiety but is also likely deeply uninspiring and unsatisfying.
If we want to do our best work, we need to put ourselves in environments that allow us to feel our best. The first step is to recognize warning signs when we’re not in the right environment to thrive. The next step is to put in place strategies that can safeguard our well-being. If you’re healing from past trauma, prioritizing your well-being is even more crucial to preserve your progress.
Strategies to Protect Your Well-Being
Whether you’re in a supportive environment or not, you can use these five mindsets and heartsets to confirm your well-being (if you are) or to protect it (if you’re not).
1. Exercise Agency
Agency is your ability to choose for yourself. In moments when you feel stuck or dissatisfied, focus on your choices. Especially when a part of you is convinced that you don’t have any, that’s the moment when you want to challenge that belief. Begin with just identifying one additional choice to what’s available, and see what that opens up for you. Naming a few options can be an empowering way to experience agency, even before taking any action.
2. Maintain Self Connection
While building work relationships is important, don’t forget to nurture your relationship with yourself. Self-connection means staying true to your needs, feelings, and perspectives. Without it, we fall into self-abandonment—ignoring our needs, silencing our voice, and undermining our worth. Stay connected to yourself to remain grounded, confident, and authentic.
3. Advocate for Your Needs
Identify what you need to do your best work—whether it’s tangible resources like budget, staff, or data; intangible resources like a fresh perspective or connection with others; improved working conditions like flexibility, clear priorities, and better incentives; or simply the permission to rest, experiment, and grow. Once identified, start by granting yourself permission to advocate for these needs, and then ask for them.
4. Gather Environmental Data
Every workplace interaction—from casual conversations to formal reviews—provides valuable data about your environment. While it’s natural to want to avoid difficult conversations, viewing all interactions as research helps you make data-informed decisions as you think about your career path and whether you stay, pivot, or leave.
5. Cultivate Life Beyond Work
You are more than your title and industry. While work is important, it doesn’t define your entire existence. Explore what makes you whole—your curiosities, your growth, your relationships, your joy. Follow what energizes and inspires you—growing in all dimensions—physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual. Invest your love in people, creatures, and living things. Work won’t love you back, so don’t sacrifice what does.
Closing Thoughts
The maxim ‘Keep work and life separated’ is appealing in theory but ignores a fundamental truth: emotions don’t clock out. Our emotional experience at work comes home to the same person.
The environment in which we spend most of our waking hours affects our emotional state, which in turn affects our performance and everything else that’s important to us. That’s why finding the right workplace culture isn’t optional but essential for well-being.
When assessing warning signs, remember that our past experiences and hardships influence what disturbs us at work. Due to our diverse backgrounds, individuals may interpret the same situation differently and experience varying emotional responses. The goal isn’t to deem a workplace unsuitable for all but to recognize when a workplace is unsuitable for you.
If your current environment disrupts your peace, you can activate strategies to safeguard your sense of well-being. While you gather data and decide what’s best for you and your next move, you can use the opportunity to strengthen mindsets and heartsets that can influence your surroundings and build resilience regardless of where you go.
