Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
~ Carl Jung
What are heartsets?
We talk about mindsets a lot in the world of self-development, to create more impact in our lives. The growth mindset, for instance, is a popular concept that helps us focus on learning rather than fixating on past or potential failures.
However, we rarely talk about heartsets that can be equally beneficial in our pursuit of personal and professional growth. While mindsets are driven by logic and data, heartsets are led by the heart and soul.
In my practice, we believe there’s room for both and welcome their integration. If we don’t make space for both mindset and heartset, we limit our access to our innate wisdom. The challenge with modernity is our tendency to prioritize the mind and override the heart and soul – and we wonder why we’re dissatisfied or unfulfilled despite our achievements.
Given this default programming, not everyone is ready to explore the world of the heart, which is understandable, given past experiences that might have discouraged us from spending too much time there.
If you’re curious about whether you’re ready or interested in exploring matters of the heart, let’s conduct a small experiment right now. Then you can decide where you land on this choice.
Below are four heartsets that can be powerful catalysts for doing our best work. I’m continually moved and inspired by my clients’ stories when adopting these heartsets, which anyone can access and explore if there’s a genuine desire.
Read the below, feel it out, and if it resonates with you or piques your interest for more heartsets, a full version is available for download at the end of this article.
Unlock your best work with these heartsets:
1. Date Yourself – Get to know yourself outside of work.
Who are you beyond your industry, job title, and professional achievements?
When we date someone – we get curious, ask questions, and engage in activities that allow us to get to know the person on a deeper level – beyond what they do for work.
In the same way, you want to “date yourself” to get to know:
- What hobbies and recreations delight you in your free time?
- What values, desires, purpose, and vision guide you in life?
- Where do you go and who do you see to get inspired, energized, or recharged?
- What skills or abilities do you practice and hone outside of work?
- What quirks and idiosyncrasies differentiate you from another person?
- What moments in your life are you most proud of?
- What insecurities exist and tendencies arise when you’re afraid?
Just as fertilizer enriches the soil, cultivating a rich inner life will nourish all aspects of our lives, including our work.
If you don’t know who you are without work, you’ve just identified an opportunity to date the most important person with whom you’ll have a lifelong committed relationship.
A first step? Take yourself out on a date. Where would you like to go?
2. Re-parent yourself – Re-parent the inner critic.
We all have parts of ourselves that are shaped by society and other people. Sometimes they’re useful and serve us, for example:
- You can cook because you watched your parents cook
- You’re polite because you’re taught to say “please” and “thank you”
Other times, they’re less helpful. For example:
- You believe “I’m not enough” because someone you care about said that you weren’t
- You don’t trust yourselves because someone you respect doubted you
Re-parenting the unhelpful beliefs of the inner critic will allow us to show up at work and in life in a way that makes us proud. As long as a part of us believes, for example, that we’re not enough or can’t be trusted, we have a fearful child taking the lead. As much as we love that inner child, we want an adult in the driver’s seat to do our best work.
If you know the inner critic, there was likely a time when the critic helped you. It probably helped you get to where you are. However, more likely, your environment has changed, and so have you. This means there’s an opportunity to update your strategy to have a different experience – one that you truly yearn for.
3. Be subversive – Don’t accept what doesn’t serve you.
The trouble with being “professional,” respectful, or courteous is that sometimes we forget we don’t have to comply.
If you submit yourself to something you fundamentally don’t like, don’t want, or don’t believe in, you’re not setting yourself up to do your best work or be your best self.
In case you need a reminder:
- You don’t have to conform to a template
- You don’t have to adhere to the norm
- The authorities, experts, family, boss, mentors, heroes, clients, colleagues, and friends can be misguided, make mistakes, prioritize their interest over yours, or be simply wrong
- What works for some may not work for all
The best part about pushing against conventional norms is that you get to decide what you like, want, agree with, believe in, think, feel, and do.
4. Create from love – Create from a place of abundance.
Often when we’re pressured to create, we get stuck. The pressure can be:
- The need to provide
- The need to get it done
- The need to generate fresh ideas
- The need to be compelling
- The need to prove a point
- The need to prove your worth
Needy energy stems from scarcity and breeds fear, which blocks our best creative flow.
Instead, tap into the energy of love when creating, focusing on:
- What feels right and at ease?
- What feels joyful and exhilarating?
- What values are you honoring?
- What desires are you bringing to life?
- What matters most in what you’re creating?
- Who’s going to benefit from this creation?
- Whose life would be worse off if you didn’t create this?
- How can this creation further your vision and purpose?
Final thoughts and next step
If these four heartsets landed right in your heart center, you’re likely ready to explore more heartsets. The full guide with all seven heartsets to do your best work is available for download here.
